Monday, July 24, 2006

Loneliness

Lonliness. This was the main reason why I never wanted to leave Melbourne. I am almost friend-less. Most of my hommies are elsewhere, save one or two who are also busy with their lives, and my other close friends are all over there. My social circle needs to be built from scratch again. All the initial superficiality before finding that person whom will click with me is so tedious.

Sometimes I wonder, is it right to feel this way in a family of six? Where the house is filled with noise most of the time? Where so much love and care fills the air and floats out of the windows? It's like watching colourful helium balloons float towards the heavens while asking myself "Why is the sky so empty?"

I guess it isn't wrong. Humans are, afterall, social creatures who probably can't settle socializing with the same five people day in and day out. I also need peers who can communicate with me on an equal level, challenge my ideals and at the same time understand my feelings. Otherwise the contents of my mind might just turn into intellectual mush. All that was in Melbourne, but all that just doesn't seem to be here.

Maybe expecting to find what I found in Melbourne over here was an overly high expectation. I was a leader over there, or as Neil Strauss would call it, an alpha-male. Kel would talk to me about his uni to work transition. Joon would ask for advice and girls. Jel would blab about how cute Pav is and how important I was to her at that point in time. Am would try to eat more than me and say "Shush!" or "Bloody hell!" when we call her a pig. Lisa would just sit there as verbal target practice. Shar would be a talking irony with her cartoons, hamsters, love life and ambitions. Cindy would be there justifying all the actions of other people that have somehow peeved me off. Conversations with Hendry about money, relationships and life would be endless. All this and more... just cannot seem to be found here.

To put it bluntly, I feel like a nobody over here. A nobody who has nobody. I have met people, but people whom are on different wavelengths or people whom only talk on business terms. I have called people, but people who never seem to call back as I wait for my phone to ring. Maybe it takes time. Maybe it takes more effort. Maybe it takes more resillience against the sickening superficialities of people whom are just trying to seem nice and entertaining. But before the time passes, before I get to put in more effort, before I meet more initially-superficial friends, I sit here and enshroud myself in memories of all the goodtimes I had back in Melbourne, appreciating everyone back there even more, let the tears drop on my keyboard, and forget how hard it is to make good friends.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

This book will add much spice to my life. I'll never be bored again! I bought one for Hendry's birthday and was supposed to borrow it from him to read it. But I couldn't wait. To many KL girls were slipping past me like half-curioused snakes. JoonWin, please finish this book so that we can go "sarging" one day.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Spreadin' tha Love

This holidays, we have done much work in spreadin' tha love of hip-hop...



Government funded workshop in Singapore. I'll be damned. If you asked the Malaysian government to fund such a thing, they'll think its funding booty-shaking lessons. It's time we'd be more open minded, yeah? Randy's in black behind me. Lovynn is the girl in white to his right. She's probably the dopest dancer on that island. The girl in the black shirt and pink words was hot. Should have gotten her damned number, but I had obligations at that time. Apparently the cats on the left just served some Malaysian crews in a competition held in KL. Don't worry, I am here to save us!



Another Singaporean Government funded workshop, this time for beginners. This one was particularly interesting because there were a number of old folks there, which made Randy delve into some history of Clownin' and Krumpin'. Suprisingly, they didn't fall asleep. They didn't absorb the dance styles very well, but they became more aware of the deep history that hip-hop has aside from what pop culture portrays it to be.


This was the first workshop in Malaysia which was held in, believe it or not, the Federal Academy of Ballet. Some talented and passionate dancers here, just no avenue to expand their skills and style. One whole crew that consisted of 5 fellas and one cutie came all the way from JB just for this. Now who can deny that there is a market here?


Second workshop at the Federal Academy of Ballet. More kids and beginners this time round, but Randy's choreo was still merciless. Maybe he should understand that unlike African Americans or Puerto Ricans, groovin' just ain't in our blood.


Ning, if you are reading this, it should be useful for you. Here it shows Malaysian kids trying out a style called Ragga (not Raggae), which is used for a style of music with the same name. It's better known in pop culture as DanceHall which I think was popularized by Sean Paul. Rando incorporates this style very well in his choreography.

After all this time teaching people with Randy, I find that his skills and style is really greater than his resume. Many times he said to me he could be at the top back in the states and that the reason why he isn't is because he was tired of the politics. On top of that, he preached that if he got to the top, he would fall really quickly and hard like many choreographers today.

Half of me always thought that his claims were just excuses for not being good enough. That was until I started comparing his style to the hottest choreographers today. Then I realized that he indeed was a master of his art. I saw clips of Marty Kudelka freestyling which made me go "Huh?". But when Randy does his thing for 5 seconds in his classes, I can always hear numerous gasps from the crowd of students. Now I find that I am being taught by one of those hermit kung-fu masters who hide in the mountains, away from all the glamour and hype.

That's right. Hype. You can ride on it, but don't believe in it. Just do your own thang.


Monday, July 10, 2006

Feels So Surreal

I am a week and a half late for my latest blog. But I've got a reasonbly good reason for my delay. Since Randy came to Malaysia, I have been pretty damned busy. I've been running around "assisting" him in workshops trying to get myself popular, going on TV and radio interviews as his "sidekick", attending dinner functions held by studios, and last but not least, bringing him shopping. Another reason why I couldn't blog earlier was because I wanted to post pictures, but couldn't find the damned USD cable for the camera.

Lame excuses aside, sometimes this whole experience feels really surreal. This cat, who has gone on tour with the likes of Destiny's Child, Sean Paul, Usher and has choreographed for Coco Lee, J. Simpson and a couple more artists, is now living in a humble middle-class home at Jalan 21/9 Petaling Jaya. Even funnier is that he had meals with my family, played with my dog, and tried to help my sisters with their homework (didn't do a very good job though). I arrived home today with my brother and we forgot to bring the keys for the main gate. So we shouted "Hello?!", and Randy replied from inside "Yo man, how you want me to let you in?!" I thought to myself: This is some weird shit. Never in my life of 20 years had I imagined that an African-American man would open the gates of my home for me.

I guess many of us forget that celebrities, people whom we admire or people who always appear in magazines and TV live on the same planet as us. We never think of the possibility that some day we might be associated with these people. Sometimes we fail to realize that we drink the same water, eat the same foods, breathe the same air, do the same things in toilets, get into similar relationships and even make the same kind of mistakes.

But a more important lesson that I've learned from this experience is that if we ever do achieve such status, we should remember that we are living in the same world as everyone else. No one is inferior to us, we shouldn't expect special treatment from anyone and we shouldn't fuss over living in humble conditions. I told Randy that he could move out to a hotel whenever he wants if he isn't comfortable here and that we'd understand. But after almost a week, he seems as happy as a squirrel in its tree. If he is feigning his comfort and happiness, he has to be a pretty damned good actor to fake it for week!

What's funny is that I actually know some friends who might complain over the living conditions of my home if they'd ever live here. Although it's a nice clean home, I know many people who'd complain about the noise my siblings make in the morning, the unpleasant smell of my dog, the heat and stuffiness of my room, the mess of my table, and the lack of mobility caused by my inability to drive. But Randy didn't even give a small grunt over these matters, except occasionally about the heat.

It seems that after housing a man who has been up there with celebrities, I have learned to be happy with the simple things down here and always keep my humility.

Monday, July 03, 2006

No Ordinary Path

(I am suprised people read my blog so quickly despite the long gaps that I have in between my posts! Thanks guys. It puts all the meaning into creating a blog, which is to create more significance in a persons life by knowing that other people care about what's going on. By the way, I am one day late because I was in Penang.)

On Saturday I had dinner with my extended family members at a kick-ass Chinese restaurant which served Phat food with even Fatter content. While chatting with one of my cousins, the topic about eating shit loads since I arrived in Malaysia came up. When I told her I probably gained weight since I got back, she replied "It's ok. Let go when you come back coz when you return to Australia, you'll be starvin'."

I have received this comment from numerous people more times than I have fingers and toes. It is becoming a cliche. The worst part is that whenever someone mentions that, I feel a sense of comfort. I will feel that it's ok to eat one tonne of crabs when I am here because I won't get it in Melbourne, especially when other people say the same thing. But then it struck me: Derrick, you are not like other people. You have not chosen to take the path of a lawyer (sorry am) or an accountant (sorry kel) where having a fat-ass will not affect your performance at work. You have chosen to dance and in this field of work your body has to be in tip-top condition. If you have a crappy physique, your chances of succeeding are gonna be even crappier. So from now on, I shall remember that any excuses for overeating does not apply to me.

An average NBA player trains for about 6 hours a day. I should be doing the same thing. I am no longer an ameteur. It's my job to stay fit. Nuff said... its time to do my chin-ups....